Friday, December 17, 2010

Project for Awesome, Shakespeare On the Edge, and chinese food!

Today has been, simply put, Awesome.
There are few other words to decribe it for me.
First of all, today, December 17th, is Project for Awesome day.
This is the day when oodles and boodles of Nerdfighters make videos supporting and informing on their favorite charities, and then people know about them, and can do the awesome duty of sending them money to help support and fund them!
I wasn't going to make a video innitially, because for some reason, I felt incredibly lazy and uncreative. But then, I got to thinking...Shakespeare On the Edge!
Shakespeare On the Edge has been a big part of my life for years now. I made friends there that are special and different from my friends at school, and at other places. SOTE is an organization that addresses abuse and violence in youth and teens.
I thought this was a pretty good idea for a video to make, because it's not like everyone is going to be doing a video on this little local project, right?
Anyway, so I upload the video at midnight, go to bed, and then commence the lame day of a junior in high school. Then I come home, eat chinese happiness, and check my youtube. A very pretty collection of comments and likes clutters my newborn video.
After messing around replying to the comments, sharing my video with friends, and just being lazy, It occurs to me that I'm suddenly getting a LOT of comments on my video.
This is because Project4awesome on youtube LIKED MY VIDEO!
This is awesome. The most awesome day in a long, long time!

Monday, December 13, 2010

2-hour delays, math tests, and Arrested Development

I slept right through my 2 hour delay. This is upsetting not only because I wasn't concious long enough to appreciate the fact that I had another hour to sleep, but also because I have a take-home math test that I still haven't finished, and might have used that time to take it.
Oh, bollocks.
And thanks to my beautiful Netflix account, I've started watching Arrested Developement. It's highly addicting. Last night, I couldn't sleep, so I watched 9 episodes on my new laptop :) I really love this thing. It's so useful.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

New Laptop! (does her happy dance!)

WOOO! I'm typing this from my new laptop! Finally! I've been waiting for like a month!
Anyway, I have some exploring to do!

Christmas time!

Christmas time is here, and I have some major shopping to do. And decorating. And reading. And working to make some money to buy the presents I need.
One of my favorite parts of the holidays, however, are the ever present Christmas songs blaring in and from every store, car, commercial, and radio station you come across. Honestly, although I love the old stuff like Oh, Holy Night, The Christmas Song, White Christmas, Silent Night, and whatnot, my favorite Christmas song has got to be Baby, it's Cold Outside. It's just so fun to sing!
I also really love cooking. Well, holiday cooking. Like green bean cassorole, and turkey, and things.
I think I'm going to go make myself some christmas cookies.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

My Birtday...

Today, I am 17. I'm 17 today. This is awesome.
I'm officially allowed to:
  • Perform magic outside of school (at LAST!)
  • Watch and/or buy R-rated movies
  • and I'm kinda an adult Sim now.
My friend Morgan threw me a birthday party at her house. Guess what we did? We felt like reading Midsummer's Nights Dream, so we did. The whole thing. In parts.
It also snowed like 10 inches.

Monday, November 29, 2010

An accident...

A friend of mine, a few days ago, got into a car accident. As she lives about 3 hours away from me, I didn't hear anything about it until I went on her Facebook page to read her updated statuses.
While driving home from a friend's house on Saturday, she was cruising river road zz by the Fox River in the Green Bay area when she hit a soft shoulder and flipped head-first into the Fox, totalling her car. She should not have made it out, but by the grace of God, or whatever other deity you believe in, she did; with not but a few scrapes, a couple bruised lungs, and lungs full of river water, she made it out, unharmed.
I thank God that she's alright.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Naps, ICarly, and Atlas Shrugged.

My sister was watching t.v. when I woke up from one of my naps. When I went into the next room to investigate, I realized that it was an episode of ICarly that takes place at VidCon. or, at least I think so. I didn't actually watch the episode, but that's what I noticed about it.
Anyway, so for the few seconds I was standing there, looking at the screen, it occured to me that they are copying real events that have recently become very popular thanks to the internet.
Also, I went shopping this weekend and perchased a few new books, 'Atlas Shrugged' by Ayn Rand being among them. I had heard of this novel numerous times before, and as I am an avid reader and collector of books, I decided it was a good day to buy this particular one.
It wasn't until I got into the car with my mom and brother, that I mentioned the book. They had never heard of it.
So, that night, when I went to The Apple (a special hangout spot in my hometown) to talk to some of my friends home on holiday from college, not one of them knew what it was either. I mean, really. Out of all of my friends that were there, 2 were planning to be English teachers. Yeah, right.
So it looks like whenever I read this particular book, I will be the only one I know to have done it.
I want to go take another nap.

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Hunger Games movie...this could be either very good or very, very bad.

So it has come to my attention that sometime in 2013, there will be a Hunger Games movie. In my opinion, this movie could be either very good or absolutly awful. Just look at Twilight. or, don't, actually. Twilight was written terribly. But also, the movies sucked.
And the idea of them using Kristen Stuart or Dakota Fanning is really, REALLY not okay with me.
What this project needs is some unknowns!
I can think of some really great actors from independant projects that would be just stunning in the roles of Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Rue, Madge and Prim.
The Hunger Games, as I describe it, is the story of Theseus and the Minotaur meets Harrison Burgeron featuring a young female Bear Grilles.
Anyway...I don't know how to feel about this yet, anyway, so maybe we'll just need to see who the cast is going to be before we say more.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

I'm thankful for...?

I've been trying to figure out all day what I'm thankful for. Thus far, I've got nothing.
Should I be thankful for my great, albeit none-existent relationship with my faux boyfriend of 11 imaginary months? Because fiction is not something I'm thankful for.
Should thankful for the book that I have yet to start writing because I'm too lazy (and don't have access to a computer)?
Oh! Should I be thankful that I don't know if I'll get into a college?! Because that's a REALLY rare treat!
I think... I think I'm just thankful that I have a weird grasp on reality, and that I'm not really expecting to find 'truth', because truth is entirely relative. Also, I really don't expect to find a Prince Charming, which should make the blow of realizing that the likelihood of having a very normal and most likely difficult relationship with whomever I end up with is very high.
At least I'm thankful for something.
Stay original, I plan to.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I'm reeling....Wait...Who's been deciding my future?!

For a long, long time, I've been very interested in becoming an English teacher. High School English, that is. I mean, there are few things I'm as adamant about as proper grammer and being culturally literate.
But I gave up this dream about a year ago when I was told that I couldn't get a job teaching, and should really be looking at nursing because 'everbody needs nurses' and 'they give scholarships away like candy' and other such nonsense that seemed so rediculously perfect to me.
It didn't always, but then everything seemed rather convienient... If I was a nurse, I could:
  • make up my own schedule- like two 20-hour days and the rest of the week off.
  • use the time I wasn't busy to audition for things like APT (American Players Theatre)
  • become a traveling nurse so as to move to Ireland for a year and practice there.
  • Stay home with my kids (when I have 'em)
Anyway, today my parents talked to me...and suggested that I look into Majoring in English again.
I'm confused.
I had this whole life planned out, and now I'm forced to realize that I now have the option to look at different things for my future.
Should I really be upset about this?
I don't know.
Wait...why am I upset that my future is now entirely in my hands?!
...Got some major thinking to do...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I hate commercials with "Call to Action"s...they make me feel so guilty.

So I'm sitting in front of my laptop, watching t.v., when a commercial comes on the tubus (telly) telling me to donate $25 to the Hanukkah Box food charity, to help them provide food for elderly Holocaust survivors in the region of former Soviet Russia. Naturally, the victims on the screen are in horrible states: old, crippled, helpless, hungry, with 'no one left to care for them'; thus reducing me to a blurry teary-eyed mess...
The truth is: I wish I had the money to donate to these poor souls! But I work a minimum wage job, and I'm lucky if my paycheck every other week reaches $100.
Of course, this awful, guilty feeling I get is only intensified every Christmas and Easter, when donation catalogues are sent out, urging me to buy a sheep, a cow, a dozen chickens, a mosquito net, a share of a new well, and to sponser a child. Oh, of course they pick these times, so close to the holiday, because they know that a mixture of nastagia, heartfelt movies, religious songs, and guilt for being so damn greedy all the time can get those cheap, rich Scrooges to fork over a chrisp $50 to get them off their backs for awhile....
So here I am, feeling bad for looking at new laptops and cameras online as some poor old Yenta in her kerchief is blubbering in yittish on my screen, and now my night is ruined.
hmm...Nikon is having a Black Friday sale....

Monday, November 22, 2010

Love...and my impressive talent to avoid it. I might be more cynical then I previously thought.

So my director, a weathered actor who happens to be the most brilliant man I've ever met, happens to had cast me about two months ago, for the role of Belle in A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens. This wouldn't be a problem, except that...Belle is in love. Belle is in love in every scene we see her in: first with Ebby Scrooge, and later with her dear husband Roger.
I have never been in love.
Now, don't you dare go thinking that I'm some cold, heartless bitch or that I'm hideously ugly or some such nonsense...I've had MANY an opportunity to let my hair down.
The thing is that I haven't found someone who gives me chills, giggles, and smiles, or that I genuinely WANT to just sit and talk to for hours.
That's a lie. I do have one of those. In fact, we are a pair of those really interesting friends that from the outside looking in, you can never see where that invisible boundary is crossed. Still, I won't date him, for reasons I and I alone know.
Anyway, needless to say, I haven't found someone with whom I want to go out to dinner with, to take home to meet mummy and da. I don't have that. I don't think I'll find that. And frankly, right now I don't want that.
Now, that's not to say I'm not lonely, I am. I just...nobody is right....
Richard, my director, noted my cynicism with both surprise and suspicion, and believing that I had had my poor little heart crushed under the heel of a boy with his mind set in his drawers, began his job of preaching his worldly (and I say this utterly without sarcasm), worldly knowledge to me of love.
'Brigid,' he said to me, 'I will be honest with you. Love's purpose is to procreate. That is why we feel it. That beautiful swooping feeling in the pit of your stomach, the intense lowliness compared to the one you adore, perfection....and that all the world could melt away and you'd be happy with just this one person for the rest of your life and all you want to do is that one thing that is so taboo....
and then you do it.
'The primal instinct is gone, now that you've done the deed. Your duty to carry on the human race is finished, the quota filled. Love, infatuation, only really lasts until that one thing happens, and then the magic fades. It moves on to torture some other poor sucker, and now you're left with a broken promise and a responsibility, and a foolish memory of folly and ignorance.'
So there it is. From the mind of a man who's been in love and out.
What hope do I have, then?
Who cares, I'm too cynical anyway...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Notes on Deathly Hallows...(beware of spoilers)

Okay, so I didn't get to see Deathly Hallows at the Midnight showing. I did, however get to see it tonight.
It was lovely.
There are a whole lot of things about it that I really really like and appreciate. An example of this would be the comedy that was so prominent in it, like the dance scene, and the 7 Harry's scene.
Also, there was, in keeping with the theme of the book, alot of seriousness and sadness, and although some of it happened in different ways in the book than they made it in the movie, everything was relatively in check.

Okay, Scariest Scenes:
  • The Bathilda Bagshot/Nagini scene
  • The Malfoy Manor scene- Hermione's scream scared the shit out of me. I was soo uncomfortable for those 3-4 minutes that we were watching everyone in the basement, even though I knew how it'd end.
Most light-hearted Scenes:
  • 7 Potters
  • Harry & Ginny's encounter with George in the kitchen
  • the dance in the tent
Coolest Scenes:
  •  the 3 brothers' story. I ADORED the graphics!
But, yes. I am tired, so I shall discuss this with you later...

Monday, November 15, 2010

In my lifetime.

This blog post is...was...originally a Vlog post (video blog), but as I haven't had a video-capable camera in ages, I figured it was important enough to make it into a blog.
These are all things I want to see happen in my lifetime. Some of them are selfish, I understand, some aren't.

1." I want to write a YA novel that somehow changes the life of at least one person."

2. I want to be a good mother.

3. I want to be completely independant from all medication.

4. I want to be less synical about love, by finding it with a person who doesn't overwhelm me with passion that clouds my mind. I'm sorry to all of you living in a Twilight-fantasy world, but I want a husband who I don't put on a pedistle, nor does he me.

5. I want to open a bookstore with a small cafe in it. Only, we'd sell everything from books (mostly books, it's a bookstore) to a few yarns to sketching and light art supplies. I'd love to teach creative writing workshops, acting and character developement workshops, and shakespearian study groups for young adults.

6. I want to act for a season with APT, American Players Theatre.

7. I want to find that people can be good, by witnessing someone do something incredibly simple, selfless and moving in a time of great sorrow and pain.

8. I want to go to a Civil War reanactment ball.

9. I want to move to Ireland for a year, by myself.

10. I want to find a career that makes me happy, by going to a school that makes me happy, by taking classes that make me happy.

11. I want to become completely enegmatic to someone, somewhere. I want to inspire the questioning antagonist within, and change someone with it, making them a more enlightened person.

12. I want to live a story that compells me to write it down.

13. I want to enjoy all of the wonderful little coincidences, tragedies, and climatic changes that develope in my life.

14. I want to stop feeling embaressed of myself.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Poetry is full of annoying similes. like a- oh, hell.

this day could have been a hell of a lot better.
       I mean, it also could have been way worse, but it's bad enough that I really really really wish I didn't live at home.
But no more bitching about my stupid life and stupid family.
Today I want to talk about other things.
This would be easier if other things were on my mind... which there aren't, it seems...
well that's dissapointing.
On another note, I have reasonable excuse to be excited for Thursday, because I've been allowed to beleive that I get to hang out with two very important people in my life. Riley, and Cal.
God, I love music. It's too bad that I'm not actually very talented at music. I mean, I'm in an A Cappella choir, but that doesn't mean anything. I mean, I wish I was talented at an actual instrument, or that I could write songs. I can't. Alas.
But then if I was a songwriter, I'd have to actually be a poet. I kind of hate poetry. It's too...I don't know, sentimental? It never feels truthful to me, because there is no humor in it.
That's the thing about us. Humans, I mean. There has to be humor.
I don't mean funny, haha humor. I mean...human humor.
When we die, we should die with a smile, because we're human. We can never be completely consumed by one emotion anyway, and everything, even death, has a beautiful, strange realism about it.
Which brings me back to poetry...
I have read too, too few poems that give me a feeling realism along with the other emotions that are meant to convey. I mean, I understand you're writing about being depressed...but I don't think that you are, because you don't sound like a human being to me. You only feel this emotion. What ever happened to that dry, sarcastic humor that litters your conversations with your teachers, friends and parents?
Make a joke! Life SUCKS!
And to the people who write about how they're so happy that it seems that the sun shines our their asses...Not everything is that happy, and you're making me sick. Tone it down.
Umm...yeah, that's all I needed to say.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

(stop conspiring, stop conspiring, stop conspiring)

Okay. So I looked for perfection.
I didn't find it.
Really, man. I hate to tell you, but you were so right.
She MUST like him more than you! I mean, have you seen the pictures? And Christ, has she EVER left you a cute little comment on your profile?? I doubt it.
You, however, seem to leave one every damn time you see that skinny, big-nosed brat.
(I don't say that because I'm jealous. I say that because SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU! honestly, nobody does, because you treated me much the same way, but still.)
I really can't help it. I'm praying that you two break up.
I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm an awful, horrible human being. Maybe because somewhere deep down inside I still really want you back, even though that would mean that I lied to myself and to Ceilie.
Maybe...maybe I want to see you in emotional, relationship pain? Heartbreak?
Maybe I just don't think you deserve to be happier than me.
That must be it.
I'm still going to pray.

Starting a new thing...

I've never been a blogger before. Always planned, never attempted.
That seems to be a rather...common...attribute to my life. I always plan, yet nothing ever gets done. Well, I'm going to change that.
I'm a writer. No, I can't really say that...I'm GOING to be a writer. Whenever I finish a damn thing.
Lets hope that this sets me on the right path, eh? I love fiction, especially Historical Fiction, but the thing is that even though I know I will one day, most likely, write YA(young adult) Fiction, I can't help but feel that it'll be more truth than lie. The problem that I have with Fantasy Fiction, and Sci-fi, is that...none of it is-real.
Call me an idiot, I know it's not SUPPOSED to be real, but as a 16-year-old, I don't WANT to be told fairy tales of sparkly vampires or werewolves. I want to feel that someone, somewhere out there, feels vaguely what I'm feeling. Has been there, in some form, and came out completely and totally great. Not perfect, God, not perfect at all, do I say this...
So that's what I plan to try to do.
Anyway, this should be some form of motivation, since nothing else I've tried has been successful. I know that if I don't put my mind to trying it now, by the time I'm expected to succeed, I'll be years behind, and I don't want that kind of pressure.
So, until I have another thing to tell you, I guess I'll see you later.
P.S. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I really do want to be a writer, but I'm also using this blog for daily thoughts, issues, words, and abuse. Because when it's over the internet, I can tell you a secret. The good thing is that you don't even know if I'm using my real name, so I'm technically safe.